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Inter-generational mediation

When a family conflict gets out of control, it can make life very difficult for everyone. Inter-generational mediation helps resolve issues between parents and children over 15, siblings, cousins, grandparents, or any other adult relatives.

Wandsworth Mediation Service is an independent charity with over 18 years’ experience supporting Wandsworth residents with free inter-generational mediation.

Matters that often come up in our work include:

  • Disagreements over living arrangements
  • Responsibilities and expectations
  • Cultural or generation gap
  • Guardianship, care for elderly or vulnerable relatives
  • Communication breakdown
  • Aggressive or authoritarian behaviour on either side
  • Disagreements over living arrangements
  • Responsibilities and expectations
  • Cultural or generation gap
  • Guardianship, care for elderly or vulnerable relatives
  • Communication breakdown
  • Aggressive or authoritarian behaviour on either side

Why Wandsworth Mediation Service?

What is inter-generational mediation?

Mediation provides a safe space for family members to come together and talk about the difficult issues they are facing. Two trained mediators will facilitate the discussion, encouraging constructive communication and helping the family work out their problems. Many of our cases involve teenagers and young adults who, as they approach adulthood, are finding themselves in high levels of conflict with their parents. We found that in the vast majority of cases where people agree to meet each other with the mediators, important steps towards resolving the conflict are made.

Woman psychiatrist giving advice to multi ethnic people with addiction at aa therapy session

4. Confidential – you can speak to us freely. Things that are discussed will never be shared with anyone else, unless everyone agrees or there is a safeguarding issue.

5. Forward looking – encouraging parties to move forward to stop a conflict from escalating and detrimentally affecting the relationship.

6. Improves communication – with workable, long-lasting solutions, leading to less arguments in the future.

Inter-generational mediation is:

1. Empowering – you and your family are in full control of how the process goes, and all decisions made. If you wish, you can walk away at any time.

2. Impartial – the mediators are impartial and seek to help all family members equally. They do not make judgements or express opinions about who is right or wrong.

3. Independent – our service is run by trained volunteers and is not part of Wandsworth Council, police, social services or any other agency.

Why work with Wandsworth Mediation Service?

How does inter-generational mediation work?

Referral

You may be referred to us by your social worker, the Citizens Advice, or may have found us directly. You will first be contacted by our friendly team of caseworkers who will talk to you about your expectations of mediation, and outline the process. They will then contact the family member(s) you are in conflict with. If all of you are willing to proceed, they will organise a meeting with two of our trained mediators who have the appropriate skillset for your case.

Individual meetings

At first, our mediators will meet with each family member individually, to find out more about the issues. This meeting will last about an hour and can be held at your home, our offices near Clapham Junction Station, or online (via Zoom). If all of you agree, we will then organise a joint meeting. We can offer up to 2 joint sessions for free.

Joint mediation session

The session will take place over several hours, and will be held either in person, or on Zoom. It is completely voluntary, so you can ask for a break or leave at any point. At the beginning of the meeting the mediators will set out a few ground rules for participation, which include listening and respecting the other person’s opinions and feelings. Each family member will then be given a chance to talk about the issues they face, and to set out their goals for the session. The mediators will facilitate the discussion, intervening as appropriate to help you all focus on what you want to achieve. Once you have identified the solutions, the mediators will help you work out how they may work in practice. After the session, a summary will be written by the mediators and sent to each of you. It will outline what has been discussed and any agreements made. The summary is not legally binding and does not affect legal rights, but is made in good faith between both individuals with the hope that things will change going forward.

Post-mediation

Our case managers will contact you 4-6 weeks following the first mediation session to see how things are going, and can arrange a further session of mediation or conflict coaching if required. For more information about the process, please visit our FAQ page.

“Everything is going well since the mediation. It really helped my son and I coming together and working as a unit. Our communication is better, we’re talking without shouting. And he’s coming home earlier”.

Inter-generational mediation client

“The mediation has helped clarify the underlying issues which have caused problems in our family relationships for many years”.

Inter-generational mediation client

“I found it really useful coming to the mediation with my sister, it helped us clear the air and to let go of some of the things that had happened in the past. We decided to move forward from those and to concentrate on our friendship that we shared”.

Inter-generational mediation client

Inter-generational mediation Questions

Inter-generation mediation is free for Wandsworth residents.

We have a team of inter-generational mediators who have been specifically trained and are supervised by us. They all offer their time and skills to us without charging us. The majority of our inter-generational mediators are Wandsworth residents who are looking to invest in their local community.

We always have two mediators on each case who have the right skill set and experience for the parties.

We have seen a huge increase in demand for our service since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Our mediators are fully trained to conduct mediation and conflict coaching sessions online.

Online mediation means you can resolve disputes quicker, and from the comfort of your home. All you need is a computer or mobile phone, a webcam and a quiet location. Our dedicated case managers will provide detailed instructions and guide you through the set-up.

If your family member decides they do not want to mediate, then conflict coaching could be helpful. It is a free session with two trained coaches who will help you reflect on the issues and work out how you might approach things differently to reduce stress and anxiety – click here for more details.

If you have more questions, please visit our FAQs or contact us.

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